Pitching to the Choir
Where was I?
Ah, yes. In between the DJ and the DK, I thought I'd better get that post on pitching up.
BIG HUGE DISCLAIMER
Also, a Vampire is an unpublished author who does, however, work as a writer in her DJ and has an awesome short story about demons coming out in a issue of Heavy Metal soon. She's also managed to write an entire novel and pitch it to industry pros without screwing things up too badly. At least, none of the pros responded to her pitch with "Get the hell away from me, you freakish stalker." Some of them even asked for the book.
BIG HUGE DISCLAIMER END
Pitching 101: You Don't Suck as Badly as You Think
Pitching is a mental game. I don't care how much ego you have stuffed into your soul--you are going to be nervous as all get out the first time around. The good news is that publishing pros, unlike people from Hollywood and lawyers, are just people. They live in New York, and they have the power to get you published, but other than that--totally normal. They eat and everything. Editors and agents want to find new talent because if they don't, they don't get paid. And they need money just like you do, because of the eating thing.
This doesn't mean you can be sloppy, or weird, or unprepared. It does mean have a good manuscript and reasonably coherent pitch to explain it to the editor/agent. Here's the thing, agents and editors know that we're a bunch of undersocialized artists who talk to people who aren't there for a living. They don't expect you to be Meryl Streep (although if you are you'll get a deal, I bet.) They just want to know that you can keep it together long enough to say "Hello, I have a good story to tell you."
Keep that in mind and no matter how nervous you get, you can't fail.
Pitching 202: Tips (Don't Be the Weirdo the Pros Talk About Later in the Bar)
Herein are contained the notes I took during an agent presenation on giving a polished pitch at WW '06.
-Be prompt. Fer god(desses) sake, you only get five minutes to begin with.
-Be shameless. See WW recap post for my accidental encounter with Elizabeth Winick for details.
-Know your book. Don't read from your book. Or index cars. Or business cards. Or the skywriting you paid for in advance.
-Don't synopsize. Have a "back-cover"-style blurb to cover plot, hit the MC's and the emotional high points of the book, and then STOP. Editors/agents need to ask you questions too.
-Don't get personal. "So, Mr. Agent, how's your divorce going?"
-Don't be needy. "But when will you read my partial? What day? Before or after lunch?"
-Speak from one professional to another. They're not demigods, and you are not a peon. Unless they're from one of those e-pubs that are into that sort of thing...
-Be comfortable and confident in your physical dress and demeanor. Wear jeans, wear a dress. DON'T wear full-dress Native American regalia even if you a) are Native American or b) feature them in your book. It's especially bad if you do neither.
-Don't obsess. That's all I'm saying about that one. You writers know what I mean.
Pitching 303: Real Live Agents and Editors
I pitched to three at WW, so here's a bit more detail about what to expect. Bring pen and paper to write submission instructions on. Some business cards if you have them, but ask before handing them out and don't be offended if agents/editors don't accept them. You try keeping track of 35 2"x1" pieces of paper on a plane back to the 212.
Editor #1 was my first pitch ever. My heart was slamming up into my throat and paralyzing my tongue. But much like massive internal trauma, when I sat in the chair my brain shut off all the slam dancing. I opened my shy-ass mouth and words came out. Too fast and very high-pitched, but coherent. My pitch took about 1:30. Editor #1 asked me if I had plans for a series, which I do, and requested 3 chapters and an outline. Simple. Like a cup of coffee. I walked out thinking that this pitching thing was so much easier than it looked.
Agent #1 was very receptive to my now slower and less shrill pitch. We had a lovely chat and I was asked to email her. This meeting ran a little over because we started to chit-chat. Agents do that, you know. If they like you they'll start yakking, which is fantastic. Yakking you want.
Agent #3, even though I wasn't on her list of appointments, was receptive and courteous once I explained "I met you yesterday, we didn't get a chance to talk but I'd like to tell you more about my book." This is where "be shameless" comes into play. There is a difference between shameless and creepy. Don't harass agents in the bathroom. Don't follow them to their hotel room doors. If you find them in the bar and ply them with alcohol, talk to them like people. They know you're a writer and that you have a book (either that or you're a huge boozehound. Or both.) It will come up somewhere in the course of the conversation.
And with that, so endeth the recap.
